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    Ladies, let’s be reasonable about #MeToo or nothing will ever be sexy again
    Posted on Saturday January 13, 2018

    Ladies, let’s be reasonable about #MeToo or nothing will ever be sexy again
    Ladies, please. (Puts up feet on table in a sage fashion.) Well, it has been a fun (glances at watch) three months that we have been doing this thing where we stop letting harassment and assault get swept under the rug, and it has been nice, certainly, to watch those tumbrils of condemned men rolling through the streets toward […]

    The day Donald Trump first became a stable genius
    Posted on Friday January 12, 2018

    The day Donald Trump first became a stable genius
    “….Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Hillary Clinton also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star….. ….to President of the United States (on my first try). I […]

    Trump and ‘shithole’: I’m shocked, shocked!
    Posted on Friday January 12, 2018

    Trump and ‘shithole’: I’m shocked, shocked!
    “President Trump grew frustrated with lawmakers Thursday in the Oval Office when they discussed protecting immigrants from Haiti, El Salvador and African countries as part of a bipartisan immigration deal, according to several people briefed on the meeting. “Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?” Trump said, according to these […]

    The Somewhat Revised Art of the Deal
    Posted on Wednesday January 10, 2018

    The Somewhat Revised Art of the Deal
    President Trump is a master negotiator. This is an non-negotiable fact and thus, if Trump negotiates somewhat differently than might have been anticipated from his reputation, published works or a study of the meaning of the word “negotiation,” it is our understanding of what “negotiation” means that must be updated. On Tuesday, Trump offered a […]

    What gerrymandering? Every North Carolina district just happens to look like a monster.
    Posted on Wednesday January 10, 2018

    What gerrymandering? Every North Carolina district just happens to look like a monster.
    Republican state Sens. Dan Soucek, left, and Brent Jackson review historical maps in Raleigh, N.C. (Corey Lowenstein/The News & Observer) The North Carolina GOP said in a statement that it cannot possibly have gerrymandered the state’s congressional districts, as “a ‘gerrymander’ is by definition and common understanding, a strange looking ‘monster’ drawing.” Chris Ingraham correctly pointed […]

    I am a lidless eye of flame that has never molested anybody. Am I a viable GOP candidate?
    Posted on Wednesday January 10, 2018

    I am a lidless eye of flame that has never molested anybody. Am I a viable GOP candidate?
    I am a lidless eye of flame that burns with violent hatred for all it gazes upon. My house is a volcano, and I command several armies of orcs. For many years, I have feared this would disqualify me from holding public office. As an immortal being who demands the sacrifice of children and cannot abide […]

    The pros and cons of President Oprah
    Posted on Monday January 08, 2018

    The pros and cons of President Oprah
    On the one hand, when Oprah speaks, the crops flourish. Hearts grow three sizes, baby rabbits open their eyes, the crocuses emerge from the frozen earth, distant music can be heard on the soft wind and it is springtime at long last. On the other hand, Oprah is a celebrity candidate with no executive experience. […]

    I read ‘Fire and Fury’ so you didn’t have to, President Trump
    Posted on Saturday January 06, 2018

    I read ‘Fire and Fury’ so you didn’t have to, President Trump
    The more you think about Michael Wolff’s book “Fire and Fury,” the funnier it gets. This could only have happened in the Trump White House. The Obama White House, say what you will about it, would not have let someone just sort of randomly wander in, maybe with Stephen K. Bannon but then again maybe […]

    What is a Steve Bannon, anyway?
    Posted on Wednesday January 03, 2018

    What is a Steve Bannon, anyway?
    Friends, I regret to say, I still remember Steve Bannon. This is, I am sure, a glitch. I do not think I made him up. I could swear that, for a while, he was President Trump’s chief strategist. Trump has issued a statement to say that he was “a staffer” who worked for him “after I […]

    Republicans’ New Year’s delusion
    Posted on Friday December 29, 2017

    Republicans’ New Year’s delusion
    Not unlike Congress, I have always been addicted to futile and meaningless resolutions. I don’t know that they are futile and meaningless at the time, or I would not make them. Every year, without fail, I resolve to become an entirely different person. It is not so much that I want to be a different […]

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